Monday, June 1, 2015

As people pleasers, we lie. We can't be trusted.

Lord we lift up our days to You.

When I miss my  prayer times, I miss You.

What do You want me to do today?

"Live with Me,
think of Me,
talk to Me,
grow more like Me.
Love Me.
Rest in Me.
Joy in Me."

Help us to stand firm in a loving manner even when those around us rationalize and argue towards us.
Help us to stand firm in what You want,
and to trust You to touch our loved ones hearts.

Help us to love each other.

I have missed You.
I know You are still here to guide me in what I am supposed to do, with this life You have blessed me with.

Much of Christ's ministry took place in private homes.
Our homes are meant to be welcoming places,
places of security and grace
that reflect God's nature.
Housework is sacred.

When we face a crisis,
we can go to the One with the greatest ability to help
and the greatest desire to love us and help us.

"Codependents are caretakers, rescuers,
they rescue, then they persecute,
then they end up victimized.
Rescuer,
persecuter, victim.
Our favorite reaction is the rescuer, enabler.
We not only meet other people's needs,
we anticipate them.
We fix, nurture, and fuss over things.
We make better,
solve, and attend to.
'Your wish is my command' is our theme.
We are the caretakers.
We rescue people from THEIR responsibilities.
We take care of people's responsibilities for them.
Later we get mad at them for what we have done!
Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves.
This is the pattern, the triangle.
Enabling is a destructive form of helping.
We become resentful and angry at the person we have so generously 'helped'.
We did something we didn't want to do,
we have ignored our own needs and wants,
and we get angry."   -  Codependent No More

"I lay my life down willingly, not out of compulsion."

People resent being told or shown that they are incompetent no matter how loudly they
plead incompetency.
And when they turn on us, we head to our favorite spot...
the victim corner on the bottom.
Rescuing or caretaking is not an act of love.
It is a hate triangle.
It fosters and maintains self hate,
and it kindles our feelings for other people.
We feel 'rejected' when someone refuses our help.
As victims,
we attract perpetrators.
We feel helpless.
At the heart of most rescues is a demon.
Low self worth.
We rescue because we don't feel good about ourselves.
Some men believe good husbands and fathers are caretakers - superheroes.
Responsible for meeting every need of each family member.
God wants us to help people and share our time,
talents, and money.
But He also wants us to give from a position of high self esteem.
If we absolutely cant feel good about something we are doing,
then we shouldn't do it!
No matter how charitable it seems.
Other people arent helpless,
neither are we.
Caretaking is closely associated with martyrdom,
people pleasing.
People pleasers can't be trusted.
We lie.
And as caretakers we don't take care of ourselves."   -Codependent No More

No comments:

Post a Comment