Are you stupid and fat?

There is a Promise that you are valuable,

sought after,

delighted in,

and chosen.

 

 

 

I was raised in a male dominated home.

Besides having eight brothers,

my dad gave me the impression that my mom was

dumb and fat. 

I am sure he didn't realize that he was doing it.

But I walked away with the notion

that I was only valuable as far as I was good looking.

I was only valuable if I was not fat.

I was also under the notion that I was stupid,

because, well, we all know, women are stupid.

Emotions should be ignored.

I was not allowed to have an opinion,

unless it mirrored my dad's opinion.

This is not a 'bash my dad' blog,

it is just how it was,
how he believed,

whether consciously or unconsciously.

I was valuable

as long as I was a doormat,

a robot,

with no valuable thoughts or ideas of my own.

I was delighted in as long as I was 'the helper.'

~

 

I am learning now that we have got to get our

'good enough' from God.

Sometimes we view other's people's rejection as

a confirmation of our worthlessness.

In reality,

it has nothing to do with our value at all.

I always feared I would have to be perfect to be loved.
As I get older and age shows itself more,
the idea of being valuable by being 'perfect'...
well, yea, it's impossible.

 

 

 

"The deep pain we feel as a result of broken relationships can cause us to

doubt that we are valuable,

or that anyone would ever want us.

We begin to see ourselves as disposable.

Easily replaced.

Not good enough.

You can't put your hope in another person,

you can only put your hope in God.

A person's love will always disappoint you."

-Renee Swope

 

It will disappoint you for many reasons,
one of those reasons is....
yup,
there it is again....
....we are not perfect.