Yet, when I try to pray,
the darts of distraction beg me to get up and walk away.
"You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul,
all your mind, and all your strength.
Mark 12:30
One thing I am learning is not to try to 'fix' people.
Rather than focus on what I want to offer,
I need to focus on what the other person actually needs.
I need to focus on meeting other pople's needs rather then
forcing my agenda on them...
to meet my own needs of approval.
Often time I see church people as having an agenda.
Their goal as I see it,
is to be a notch on their post of people 'they got to church',
rather than to meet a need.
I realize that sometimes, when I give,
I want the other person to know just how much this is costing ME.
I don't want to be taken for granted,
treated like a doormat.
I want the other person to appreciate my sacrifice and not just expect me to fill their need becaue they have a need!
"Yet while we were still sinners He died for us."
He died for us,
even though we don't 'get it'
and we don't appreciate it.
I realize how not Godlike I am.
I LIKE people to know what I have done for them.
I LIKE to be appreciated.
I don't always give without the hopes of being thanked.
My success is the measure of God's will and mind that I have revealed to those around me.
"I regret to say that many of the religious people I have known in my life did not show me love. They did however show me rejection, criticism, and judgement. Religious people love conditionally. They love those who are just like them. Anyone different from them frightens them. Religious people want everyone to clean up. The problem is their definition of clean up differs widely. Religious attitude often times is full of
pride, criticism, and judgement.
Many people have tried religion and found it to be an empty experience."
Reduce Me to Love by Joyce Meyer
Lord, I am sorry for the times I have not offered You to others,
but instead,
I offered them pride, criticism, and judgement.
What Joyce is saying, is we need relationship, not religion.
As we get into these religious groups, we want to be 'in' we want to 'clean up' and belong and we adopt the same misconceptions.
I realize that I have done this without even realizing it.
How is it that I am still looking for my reward from people .
Lord, help me to trust You.
Help me to long to hear from You.
"Well done good and faithful servant."
Help me not to need
elevation and praise from people.
Help me to long for and be satisfied with the praise and approval of you.
"This is the path, walk in it."
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